Best (?) Christmas cracker jokes Groan or chuckle: What do you think of our Christmas cracker jokes? By Time Out staff 01 December 2014 They hardly ever raise a laugh, but somehow the festive season just wouldn’t be the same without the groan-inducing jokes inside Christmas crackers.Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?A Christmas quacker!Who is Santa's favourite singer?Elf-is Presley! SIMILAR ARTICLES Christmas in Bali, Indonesia Worst things about Christmas 8 things to do this weekend 13 things to do this weekend What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even!Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?Because he wanted to sleep like a log.What do you call a bunch of Grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.What carol is heard in the desert? O camel ye faithful!What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?Nothing, reindeer can't talk.What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?Tinselitis! What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues.Who doesn't eat at Christmas?A turkey because it is always stuffed. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? Santa paws. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? Santa claws. Who sings ‘White Christmas’ and explodes?Bang Crosby.What do the little elves have to do when they get home from school? Gnome-work.What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to the Elf Farm.What's the best Christmas present in the world?A broken drum, you can't beat it.