All three of you clamouring for a sequel to Wild Wild West have got your wish: Jonah Hex – an adaptation of the DC Comics series about a Western antihero with otherworldly abilities – gives that 1999 disaster a run for its wasted money. Occupying a similarly alternate 19th-century universe, Hex (Brolin) is a horribly scarred bounty hunter out for the blood of the man who murdered his family, Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich). But it’s not simply a matter of revenge, because Turnbull has a monomaniacal plan to use a weapon of mass destruction against President Ulysses S Grant (Aidan Quinn).

What’s a guy who can interrogate the dead to do? Cosy up to Megan Fox, of course. Then it’s off on a nonsensical progression of adventures that reach their apex when a handy group of Indians – sort of the AAA roadside assistance for the recently deceased – brings Hex back from the beyond. He inhales some digital smoke, coughs up a crow and shouts a Shatner-esque ‘Turnbull!’

And then? Howzabout a steamboat-of-death finale involving the plastic-bag-loving videographer from American Beauty, Colonel Daniels from The Wire and Gob Bluth from Arrested Development? But by that point you’ll hopefully be passed out from all the popcorn you’ve scoffed to survive this hex of a flick.

Jonah Hex

Genre: Action, Drama, Thriller
Duration: 81 mintues
Released: Aug 4th
Director: Jimmy Hayward
Stars: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher Jr., Tom Wopat, Michael Shannon
Language: English
Classification: PG15
Jonah Hex
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