This updated Clash of the Titans is deliciously dumb and, let’s face it, no worse than the original 1981 shlockfest. Zeus (Liam Neeson) is unhappy with mankind’s uppitiness; he enlists estranged brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes) to swirl up an ash storm, making the haughty queen (Polly Walker) wrinkle with age while he mutters an awesome, ‘You have insulted powers beyond your comprehension.’

Alas, it all comes off as hit and myth, mainly due to our leaden, buzz-cut hero, Perseus (Avatar’s Sam Worthington, no Harry Hamlin), and zero sparks of heavenly-body chemistry or humour. Audiences will flock to the movie for its colossal effects, and even if this Medusa slinks around better than Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion stunner from the first go-round, she’s still trapped in a video game. The action is cleanly cut, however, and some giant scorpions steal the show.