You don’t go into a remake of Conan the Barbarian expecting a groundbreaking epic of cinematic genius. But, even with low expectations, this CG-heavy take on John Milius’s beloved 1982 sword ’n’ sorcery classic comes across as a half-hearted affair. The movie is sporadically enjoyable – director Marcus Nispel has a way with a nifty action set-piece, when the overbearing SFX aren’t getting in the way – but mostly pointless. Rent the original instead.