16 New Year's Resolutions you should make

Time Out Dubai looks ahead to 2016 in Dubai with these 16 (comedy) must make New Year's Resolutions recommendations, plus advice on how to keep them

16 New Year's Resolutions you should make

16 Change the world
Recycle more, share your cake, pick up litter, drop bad habits, smile at strangers, give to charity, love more and hate less. Actually, keep the cake because all that sounds exhausting.

15 Lose some friends
How can you really appreciate your 729 Facebook friends? Start the New Year with a friend cull and free up your inbox for genuine friendships or, at the very least, only the most satisfying timeline stalks.

14 Overcome a fear
Swim with sharks, look down from the heights of the Burj Khalifa, hold a tarantula – Dubai is a great city for facing your fears and it’s time to confront your demons.

13 Use time wisely
Before spending thousands of Dirhams and numerous weekends learning to Scuba dive ask yourself, how often will you actually do it? Chances are you’d be happier spending months trying to get to the Marmalade Moon on Candy Crush Saga.

Learn a language.

11 Lower your expectations
The problem with shooting for the stars isn’t that you sometimes hit the moon, it is when your metaphorical gun backfires and you end up with ambition and aspiration all over your bewildered face. Assume that next year will have a mix of good and bad, just like the year before.

10 Dance more often
At the photocopier, in supermarkets, on escalators, under water – wherever and whenever you can do it, you should make the effort to be a little groovier. Tune your internal radio to a funk station and radiate positive vibes.

9 Stay in bed
Falling asleep is the new going out. If enough of us insist that this is true, would that remove the stigma attached to falling asleep before 8pm while watching YouTube cat videos and eating a full block of cheese in bed?

8 Grow a muscle
Achieving an Olympian’s sculpted body might still be a stretch. Instead of going for general fitness, put all of your workout energy into a single, freakishly strong muscle. One brilliant bicep? A golden glute? Focus your training.

7 Remember your friends
Last year you probably spent more time fighting trolls online than you did talking to granny on the phone. Surely you’d be happier catching up with long-lost school friends than networking with strangers?

6 Treat your feet
Your tootsies don’t like to be still. Walk in the dunes, wander on the grass, paddle in the sea and let your toes feel the breeze as you stroll barefoot in the most beautiful places you can find.

5 Have more tastes
Sea cucumber? 100-year-old eggs? Fertilised duck egg? Give your inner foodie a challenge by tracking down some of Dubai’s lesser found flavours.

4 Defeat a brunch
We hate greed and urge you to live modestly. But, just once, go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and test your physical capabilities.

3 Fly first class
Have as many holidays as you can, explore the world and travel so far and wide that you earn enough air miles to get upgraded. The other side of those first class curtains is better than you imagine (we hear).

2 Invent something incredible
Ideas as remarkable as car-eoke (in-car karaoke systems) or the fonduzzi (fondue-cum-Jacuzzi) shouldn’t put you off. Make 2016 the year you share your vision.

1 Break the internet
Make sure your Facebook page becomes essential daily reading for friends. Get married, have babies, be promoted, do a sky dive; whatever it takes to go viral. 5,000 Likes in a year? Set a target now and live the life that will reach it.

Will Milner is a regular contributor. He thinks 2016 will be your year.

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